Billy And Sarah Black: Broken Love
by MusicIsLife11
Summary: He's going to regret that night forever, because they were together when she died in his arms...  Billy's letter to Sarah about three mistakes that cost him her life.


Dear Sarah,

It's our twenty fifth anniversary today. I guess I don't need to remind you since you use to remind me, but I think this day is important. You died fifteen years ago today as well. It's heart breaking, this very day, yet joyful as well. I wish I hadn't made so many rotten mistakes when I was with you, Sar. I remember I spilled milk on your favourite table cloth, accidently dropped the baby on the bed and once, I gave Rebecca soy milk instead of milk. It's those minor mistakes that make me feel horrible. Unfortunately, it wasn't those mistakes I was referring to. January the fourteenth of 1990? Jacob's birthday. Don't get me wrong, Sar, Jacob was not a mistake, but that day was. Everything had been going wrong. We were fighting constantly because you were moody from the pregnancy, and I was... frightened that you'd find out about my betrayal to you. I needn't be worried since you were constantly falling asleep of yelling, but still, in the back of your mind, you must have realized my absence... It had been just before dinner that you had began shouting at me, looking pale and exhausted. I was juvenile then, Sarah. If I'd known what was going on, I promise, I would never have yelled back.

We were fighting over money issues, that I spent too much money on the tribe's needs instead of their family's. I'd yelled back that the tribe were as much as family as she was. Her face had paled just then, and a liquid had poured down your legs. You began screaming and panting. I remember you fell to the ground, however, I caught you before you hit yourself. You were screaming so hard, crying and clutching onto me for dear life. Back then, I'd still had some wolf spirit in me, so I'd had enough strength to run you all the way to our car. I remember buckling you in and kissing your cheek, trying to calm you. But Sarah, you were screaming - piercing screams had never hurt my ears so much, and I'd heard enough of them for a life time. Sarah, I was so scared. I didn't know what to do, it was like being helpless. So I drove to the freeway that led to the hospital. You're screams finally made sense - you were screaming a_t _me now.

_'I hate you, Billy! I hate you!'_ You'd screamed, holding onto your stomach like it was going to explode. I had a feeling it might. I'd yelled at you for telling me that, feeling just as distressed as you had. Tears were running down your eyes, yet you didn't let them take over your emotions.  
_'Don't yell at me, you cheating idiot!'_ You'd yelled, and at that point, I realized you knew. I'd been terrified Sarah, I'd practically stopped driving. You'd screamed, squinting your eyes and looking up the ceiling as another contraction hit. I was looking at you, Sarah, and I was so scared. I didn't know what to say or what to do. I wanted to hold you - help you - but I had a feeling now wasn't the time. That was mistake one, Sarah Black. There are so many others I regret, but that was mistake one. I remember when I got you to the hospital, you wouldn't let go of my hand, even when you were angry at me.

I was so proud of you Sarah, that you could forgive me so easily. I was crying with you Sarah - while you gave birth, I was crying too. I love you... I loved you then too. Mistake two was much worst however. Just because you knew I'd cheated on you, you didn't know the worst part. Unprotected making of love usually equaled in a baby and we knew, due to Rachel and Rebecca. However, that was something to celebrate... Rayne and I's unexpected child was not. She'd came to the house when you and week old Jacob were asleep, her stomach having a large bump. She looked like you did Sarah - about to give birth. She was far less pained although, however, she was a lot paler than you. I didn't know what to do Sarah, so I brought her inside and laid her on the couch. Sarah, I have to tell you, if I'd thought you'd be awake, I would never have done it. However, you didn't expect that she was in labor with my baby - so you accepted it and helped her. I held little Jacob as you helped her, chatted and smiled with Rayne. I was so so proud Sarah, and that made me hurt even more.

Rayne Call gave birth to a little baby boy, who had most of my features. Rayne had been exhausted by than, but insisted she go home. So we'd all piled into the car. Rachel and Rebecca - currently four years old - and Jacob were being looked after by Sue Clearwater, thankfully. Rayne kept gazing at me, proudly, her eyes low. I think you could see that Sarah, even though I was the one driving, I think you could tell. We dropped Rayne off at her home and waved her off. The drive home was only about fifteen minutes, however there seemed to be a lot traffic.

"Get out of the car, Billy," you had whispered to me after I'd helped put Rayne's things inside. I was already seated in the passenger seat, however your expression told me very distinctively that you didn't care anymore. I nodded and hopped out of the car, barely having time to close the door. You were hurt Sarah - and I understand. Maybe you should have run me over instead of speeding away - it would have been a lot more efficient. I'd borrowed a car from Rayne and driven into town, needing some space. It was pouring by the time I began driving back. It was very dark- I remember there were no lights on because there had been a power outage in La Push. While I was leaving, you were coming. I remember seeing your face just before we collided with eachother. You're face was one of anger and hurt, yet forgiveness in those gorgeous green eyes. Our cars had driven into eachother when your car had slipped on the water, and suddenly, the car caved in. I may have fainted, I may have not, I'm not sure. I couldn't move my legs though. I dragged myself by my arms towards you're car, having little trouble as the door had been ripped off. I saw you there, lying in an unlivable position.

Death and life can only combine for so long before there's an eruption. When life defies death, death has to take back... Life had given me a two little boys and two littles girls and you, while death had taken you before we could work anything out. I miss you Sarah - every moment of every day. I'd climbed to you, pulled you from the car and held you there, as the rain swept our blood, and pain consumed us. You were dead Sarah. I didn't know what to do. I was so alone on that road. Tears and droplets of rain combined, and to join the potion, came blood. Our blood. You're body was withered and tortured. Your legs were sliced, your shoulder was clearly dislocated and most of your face was bashed in. I'd never seen you so beautiful Sarah. You weren't crying, you weren't wincing, you were peaceful in my arms, content. I was crying as your heart stopped beating. Even though I couldn't move to help you, maybe if I'd tried a little harder, I could have... You were pale and ghostly by the time anyone saw us. They took you away from me - I yelled at them not to, told them I'd kill them if they did, but they took you away from me.

When I woke up next, I was in a wheel chair, holding little Jacob in one arm and a little boy with my features in my other. Although over the last fifteen years I've acted confident, part of me died with you that night Sarah. My final mistake was ever letting go of you; ever thinking it was too late for us, because before there was anybody else, _you _were all that mattered, and that's the way I wanted it to be. Your body was so badly injured that they nailed your coffin shut. They didn't realize I'd seen it before they'd closed that coffin, and kissed that bashed - in face. I love you so much Sarah. The day you died - our anniversary - was the worst day of my life, and I'll regret it forever.

Love Billy.

**A/N: Great. Made myself cry. Basically, I got this idea from reading another FanFiction and from listening to Mistakes by Delta Goodrem and Brian McFadden. I hope you like it.**


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